do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
