Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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