rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Michael Bay diarrhea
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
