1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize