i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize