You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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