And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize