I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My ATM looks so different sober.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
