Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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