you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
