I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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