"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
