i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
