You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize