the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize