YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
