Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
