ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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