What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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