Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
