he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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