In the future we'll all be gay
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
