I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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