is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
