There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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