oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
