I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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