I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
