Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You are a genius and a whore.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
