and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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