At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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