At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
