apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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