plz talk dirty to me
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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