Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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