please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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