Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Randomize
