A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
