There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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