this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
