is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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