Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
