He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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