Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
