where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My dick has a subreddit
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
