I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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