O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
