yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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