Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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