I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
