I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
