all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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