So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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