Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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