We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
