I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
