The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
