We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
