I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
